Help, I Think I'm Locked Out! Featured

Written by  Candice Fathi -- Virginia Monday, 03 October 2016 23:01

Every parent wants to connect with their child. No parent ever has thought or said, “I wish I could be permanently locked out of my child’s heart and her world.”  Recently, while doing research for my graduate course for teaching  children with special needs and disabilities, I had an epiphany: There is a key into each of our kids’ worlds. No parent is hopelessly locked outside of their child’s world without a key.

locked outGod, the creator of our amazing, special, unique, exquisite children, places a key outside for every parent to have access into their child’s world. No parent, fostered, adopted, biological is a parent by coincidence, mistake, nor chance. The creator of our awesome children, knew long ago that you were the mommy or daddy that was going to be in this child’s life. And like every well-prepared host, God leaves a key outside for us parents to find so that we can welcome ourselves into our children’s heart and world.

I recently visited San Diego, California, for my grandmother’s funeral. Although the visit was a surprise trip for me (none of us know the date someone will die), my cousin who hosted me was totally prepared for my trip. She had a guest room, linens, and comfortable bed ready to welcome and receive me. She made sure that there was a house key left under the mat for me to let myself in. What a pity it would have been if she had brought the groceries, filled the fridge, cleaned the house, and dressed the bed and forgot to leave a key outside for me to get into the house! I would have been locked out and missed out on an awesome connecting experience.

My cousin is amazing; a real life Puerto Rican "wonder woman." However, her amazing preparations and home organization skills cannot compare to the divine creator. The divine creator of the moon, the sky, the trees, the mountains, the flowers and the bugs on the ground, is the ultimate host. God knew long ago exactly who our children would be and he thoughtfully places a key outside for us to welcome ourselves into our children’s worlds.

For parents who have children with special needs, or a disability, the feeling of being “locked out” or disconnected with a non-verbal child can be all too familiar. The word autism is from the Greek word “auto,”  which means “self.” Autism is defined as being locked inside of one’s self thoughts or world. Dr. Temple Grandin, autism advocate, author, and professor says, “If you want to know how to connect with your child with autism, look at what is your child in to, what is their obsession.” A light bulb went off in my brain when I heard this. “Amen! Amen! God places a key outside each of our children’s world so that no parent is left outside!

Before you doubt this, I have seen this epiphany put to the test. My friend’s daughter, Maia has Down's Syndrome. She is 16 and not coherently verbal, yet. Maia’s soul language is music. She knows her numbers and can communicate using written language and numerical symbols. When God searched for the perfect parents for her, he found her a mommy who sings in choir and a daddy who is a producer and musician. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Whenever I talk to beautiful Maia, I sing to her; and we connect because we are speaking  in her soul language.

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Read 3145 times Last modified on Tuesday, 04 October 2016 08:36