Mommy: No Gracie. You can put it in your bag.
(Gracie continues to argue her point. As mommy reaches back for a "friendly knee squeeze" Gracie quickly thrusts her apple core into Mommy's hand.)
Mommy: (In a stern voice, maybe some steam coming from ears) Gracie, just who do you think you are?
Gracie: I KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM.
And there you have it. An interaction between a mom and a perfectly precious yet sometimes precocious 5-year-old. Yes, she was disciplined and was penitent. She tests her borders for sure, but truly is a sweetheart...who knows exactly who she is...Just sometimes has to add a dose of humility.
I love this confident quality which exudes from Gracie. She is secure in her own skin and is not afraid to step out with surety. My mother-in-law had a description for this quality in children that surely fits her—"a real ringed-tailed-peeler." I have no idea what that is, but it sounds about right.
Or, as Shakespeare penned, "Though she be but little, she is fierce."
The truth is, when we know who we are (as Christians) our confidence can be rock solid. We can know exactly who we are. Perhaps we shouldn't shove our trash in people's fists...but we can be secure and confident from deep inside our souls.
When we aren't exactly sure who we are, insecurity reigns. This insecurity can present itself in myriad ways, most which are not helpful in building loving relationships. We might withdraw, or attempt to "prove ourselves," or perhaps look for confidence in a drink. When insecure, we may be easily angered when someone points out a weakness, thinking our "felt worthlessness" is accentuated. Often, insecurity breeds people-pleasing.
Certainly the ways we were raised and treated contribute to our confidence, or lack thereof. Our background, ethnicity, education, appearance, and finances can add to or subtract from the value we place on ourselves.